By Alan Collins
Nobody's perfect.
We all get knocked on our butts as HR professionals.
Despite our best efforts, we all fail.
And that's what happened with Randy McDonald.
In the book, The Chief HR Officer, Randy talks about his experience as director of HR for a division of a large organization. Being young and ambitious at the time, he was trying to position himself for a promotion and had racked up an impressive list of accomplishments.
At review time, he proudly described all the things he had achieved. When he was done, his boss looked at him and said, "Well, that's an impressive list. Very impressive. But...
"You've Failed, Randy!"
Stunned, Randy thought he must have been misunderstood. So he began again, going through the presentation of his accomplishments even more emphatically.
His manager stopped him again and said, "I heard you. You did a lot. But YOU did it... Alone. And that means you failed at the most important part of your job Randy: Building a successful team and influencing others. You didn't bring your people along with you."
After further discussion and clarification, this became a defining moment in his career.
Being smart, innovative, a hard worker, even ambitious, were all good qualities to have. But as a leader, they weren't good enough if he didn't use the talents and abilities of his people.
Randy had failed this first real test of leadership.
And he didn't meet his boss' nor his colleague's expectations.
And it was a big setback.
But it was one he decided to address.
And he did.
Years later, Randy became senior vice president of Human Resources at IBM and was recognized as the 2008 HR Executive of the Year by Human Resources Executive magazine. This episode is just one of many battle scars he's picked up along the way.
Randy's experience is not unique in our profession.
If you look around at those who've hit the pinnacle of success in HR, you'll find their career littered with a trail of failures along the way.
You and I just don't know about them. The world tends to reward successes and many of our HR leaders and executives understandably just choose not to walk around publicizing their screw-ups.
However, I don't mind sharing a few of my own in the spirit of full disclosure. A while back, I did a detailed, "Personal Lifeline" exercise to evaluate the peaks and valleys of my 25-year career in HR. Here are just a few of the failures and setbacks that it revealed:
Again, that's ONLY a small sample ... and you'll find none of these on my resume or my LinkedIn profile.
However, here's what's truly remarkable about this list...
Just about every one of these disappointments later set the stage for my biggest HR career breakthroughs and achievements.
So, if you've failed at anything lately in HR, congratulations! My hat's off to you. You're probably well on your way towards your next success.
But right now, if you're going through the pain of some career crisis or setback, you probably don't feel very encouraged. And I'm sure you find little solace in hearing stories about me, Randy or other HR failures.
So, let's talk more about you.
What if you've just been knocked on your ass after giving your best effort? How do YOU pick yourself up, dust yourself off and quickly prepare yourself for your next success in HR?
Here's a list of strategies that can be helpful in conquering failures and getting yourself back in the game:
1. Take some time to lick your wounds.
Depending on the size of your setback, this may take a few hours or a few days. During this time, it's crucial that you carve out time to learn from, reflect on and emotionally decompress from the painful experience.
You may also want to get more detailed feedback from others familiar with the situation to fully understand what went wrong.
2. Grab some alone time to think.
Visit your favorite private place to do some soul searching. Go for a brisk walk. Take a shower. Breathe. Stay calm. Breathe. Stay calm. Breathe.
If you need to cry, cry. Crying won't change the situation, but it will help release some more of the tension, pain and emotion surrounding the event.
3. Call a friend or confidant.
Make sure this is someone who most lifts you up and makes you feel great after every conversation. Take them to lunch or dinner and tell him or her that you need some time to vent or that you could use a little pep talk.
4. Get jacked up again by pulling out your "feel good" file.
Every HR professional should have a growing Career Success File -- or a "feel good" file.
This is a file where you keep your atta boys (or "atta girls") from the boss, awards, honors, feedback and memos documenting your contributions to a team effort, positive feedback from clients and notes (handwritten is okay) which describe how you've exceeded what was expected of you.
It's called a feel good file for a reason. It'll help you regain your confidence and inspire you to get back in the game.
Don't have one? Grab a file folder and label it "How I've Made a Difference." You can also create a folder using the "My Documents" file on the desktop on your computer. Use this file to capture all you've accomplished and ways you've made a difference.
5. Put on your favorite music playlist.
This is the playlist you use at the gym to get you pumped. (If you don't regularly go to the gym or workout otherwise, start doing that tomorrow. You have to be healthy to stay motivated and help you rebound more effectively after disappointments.)
6. Get around people.
Don't close yourself off from the world. It's easy to disengage especially if you're naturally an introvert. Get back out there. An easy way to do this is to find colleagues or family members to compliment. Tell them how much you appreciate them. Just say, "hey, I wanted to tell you that I appreciate you because..." The act of giving gratitude to others can change your mood dramatically and quickly.
7. Get moving again.
Here is a movie clip I use to help me climb back on my horse after falling off. It's one of the best movie speeches ever. It's a talk we all need to hear from time to time.
It's only 3 minutes long. Take time and view the ENTIRE VIDEO IMMEDIATELY! Let the impact of the words hit you. Check out this video even if you've seen it before.
Here's the point...
To further quote Rocky:
"This is how winning is done! Now if you know what you're worth, then go out and get what you're worth! But you gotta be willing to take the hits. And not pointing fingers saying you ain't where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain't you! You're better than that! I'm always gonna love you no matter what. No matter what happens. You're my son and you're my blood. You're the best thing in my life. But until you start believing in yourself, you ain't gonna have a life. Don't forget to visit your mother."
Here's my bottom line in all this:
How you deal with failure and disappointment determines how successful you will become in your HR career.
Did you catch that?
It is an important secret to your success in our profession that you already know.
So let me say it again, differently....
We all bomb.
We all experience defeat.
We all face obstacles.
How you deal with them defines who you are and determines how successful you will be in HR.
Nobody gets it right all the time.
So stop feeling sorry for yourself. Stop complaining. The world doesn't care. The important thing is that once you've mentally and emotionally gone through the process of dealing with your failure...
Get back in the game and make something important happen.
And don't forget to visit your mother.
About the Author:What to Do When You've Failed in HR -- And Everyone Does, Eventually!
Alan Collins is Founder of SuccessInHR.com and specializes in helping HR professionals take their careers to the next level. He has authored three best selling books: Winning Big in HR, Unwritten HR Rules and Best Kept HR Secrets -- all available on Amazon. Alan was formerly Vice President - Human Resources at PepsiCo, where he led HR initiatives for their Quaker Oats, Gatorade and Tropicana businesses.